A bad mood...

Somehow I get a feeling, why did I always choose a wrong choice of my lifetime? This is just so unfair for me to suffer by myself. I always think it's better than I don't have to be born in this world... Slowly as the time goes by... I realized that I couldn't take anymore hardships with me. It is just a torture to me. I hate it when I am been compared to someone even better than me.

Pain

PAIN PAIN PAIN P A I N!!! GAH!!!
I'm in pain right now!!! Suffering from Hidradenitis Suppurativa since last year. Don't know what is that right? Well, only 1% of the human population at this world are suffering from it. So, it is understandable that it is quite rare when you heard about it.
Definition: Hidradenitis suppurativa is a chronic skin condition that features pea-sized to marble-sized lumps under the skin. Also known as acne inversa, these deep-seated lumps typically develop where skin rubs together — such as the armpits, groin, between the buttocks and under the breasts.
Cause: Hidradenitis suppurativa develops when hair follicles become blocked and inflamed. It's not known why this blockage occurs, but a number of factors — including hormones, genetics, cigarette smoking and excess weight — may all play a role.

In the end, I went to see a doctor for help and explanation and guess what the doctor said to me?
Me: Is there any cure for HS?
Doctor: Sorry, I couldn't help you because currently there is no permanent cure for HS.
Me: *A BOMB EXPLODED in my head*

I mean it like WTH!!! I gonna live with it for the rest of my life! But luckily I get some advice from HS sufferers since after joining the support group. It helps but couldn't cure it. Even though, the lumps are cleared from my skin, it doesn't mean that I'm cured as it just a remission because it might come back again. Therefore, I need helps from my parents to look after at my diets. I been told that my diets are important to keep it from coming back again.

There goes part of my life... Sigh...